So two days ago, one of my coworkers, Mat, told me the details of Phil's full nine day expedition to kill a leopard for his tribe back in Rwanda. This is obviously not 100% accurate, but nevertheless it's still an amazingly ridiculous story. If there are weird errors or things that kind of sound stupid, it's almost 2am and I've worked all day. I'm tired:
At age 14 the path to become a man in Phil's tribe was to track and kill a leopard. Phil went out on his nine day expedition with only shorts, a spear and a knife on his body.
Apparently on the 4th day or so, Phil had seen a leopard, and chased it up a tree with a ball of fire that he had made from a bunch of twine and grass wrapped around a long branch he had found. The reason he didnt kill it was because their tribe only kills older leopards (you can tell by their spots how old they are) because they have more wisdom, so he left this one alone since it was too young.
At night, the temperature in Rwanda drops to around or below 5 degrees, and obviously since Phil had only brought with him shorts, he was freezing. What he did was he found a baboon cave to sleep in for a couple of nights, which is insanely smart because baboons have lookouts stationed all over the place so that if a predator approaches, every baboon in the pack (are baboons referred to as a pack? Whatever) will hear the calls and be alerted of an impending attack. Talk about knowing your surroundings.
By the 8th day or so, Phil had pretty much given up any sort of hope that he was going to be able to find an old enough leopard to kill so he's just lying down in the grass. And at this point, he's apparently absolutely ready to die. It's all or nothing right now for him, and he'd much rather face a leopard and lose than head back to the tribe without anything to show for it.
The 9th day rolls around and Phil's once again just lying in the grass defeated when he hears a pride of lions making their defensive calls to ward off intruders. Naturally, he thought that this particular pride of lions had spotted him in the distance and thinking that he was an enemy to the pride. So he stands up, and he sees a leopard just assaulting the pride (reasons unknown).
He apparently then waits. I don't know how long he waits, but it's quite some time later that the pride of lions chases this leopard from their grounds. From where Phil is standing, he knows that if he turns to run or make any quick movements, it'll draw attention to himself. So he just stands there, in the middle of the plains as the leopard runs past him, as the lions run past him. Now, apparently a couple of lions had charged at Phil real close to sort of intimidate him, but then kind of lost interest when he showed no signs of movement and went past continuing on after the leopard.
He eventually follows this leopard to a secluded area after the pride had given up the chase. For some reason he knows that leopards are quick as shit, but that their turning radius is very, very, very slow. What he then does instead of shitting himself is walk up as slowly as possible to this leopard sideways, so as to not look as threatening since he seems smaller. As he's walking up (again, slowly), this leopard takes notice in him and is walking slowly towards him. When he get's close enough, he runs quickly to his side to throw the leopards quickness off and get it turning. As he's running, he throws the spear in one fluid motion and hits the leopard in the throat/neck area.
The leopard collapses to the ground, and without giving it another thought, he runs at the leopard. And all in one motion, thrusts the leopards head up with his arm, and drags his knife across its throat. He apparently has scars all across his arm from where his arm was caught by the leopards teeth because of this.
And apparently after he dug his knife into its throat, he just fucking legged it and ran the fuck away, hahahahaha. He obviously went back when it was clearly dead, and cut out a tooth to bring back to his tribe, which he again wears proudly around his neck as a medallion.
Nicest most genuine dude I have met thus far in Australia.
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